Parents and Children - Teaching Obedience

• Saying "I love you" to a child is only effective if they also FEEL loved.
• Sometimes it is better to let a child make their own decision even if it goes against parental guidance.
  Unless a child's safety is at stake, making a mistake is an opportunity for a child to learn by feeling the natural consequence. The parents' reaction at these moments is important.
• A parent's role is to help a child learn to be independent. Give children projects to do that will help them learn skills for the future.
• Keep a "To Do List" for yourself and your family. If the children help you with your list, reward them with your time.
• Reward good behavior with special words, a hug, or compliment.
  Candy and money are usually not the best rewards for good behavior. It is best to give a child realistic consequences (that which they can normally expect to receive as an adult) such as affirmation or personal attention.
• If you have something important to say, get down to the child's level.
  When you really need a child's attention and obedience, it is more effective, and less threatening, if you are positioned at their level and not looking down at them. Sit down with the child, look them in the eye, hold their hand or gently touch their arm. Use slow, clear speech.
• Mold the child's identity
  Every child has some good aspects to their personality. Tell people about the child's strengths while the child is present.
• Trust your child with responsibility.
  Chores are a fact of everyday life. Child can and need to do chores so they feel a part of the family and understand the importance of everyone sharing the tasks. A parent's attitude toward chores can have an effect on how the child feels about them so keep home maintenance fun.
• Provide a structure that keeps life in balance.
  Make a list of all the activities that fill a normal day (eating, learning, resting, working, sleeping, etc.) The parent of a young child should allot enough time for each activity so the child's life stays in a healthy balance.
• Listen to your children.
  If you teach listening skills by focusing on the child and listening to them when they have something to say, they will more likely listen to you when you need them to.
• When correcting a child, use the "Oreo cookie" technique.
  The Oreo cookie technique means you say something positive first (maybe a compliment), then tell the child how you feel about the behavior, and then let them know you believe in them. Focus on correcting behavior...never attack their personality.